When the movies came out, my dad saw it before his brother. Then one day my uncle really pissed my dad off and so my dad told him, "Darth Vader is Luke's father!". and my uncle has never forgiven my dad.
The Empire Strikes Back was on tv on Friday, A New Hope was on last week, and I assume Return of the Jedi is on next week. I hadn't seen any until last week and I fell asleep watching The Empire Strikes Back. I am going to watch the one next week so I want to know what I missed.
The first question I had the oppotunity, someone wanted to know a quick and reliable way to make money. I suggested working a fast food job, they always seem to be hiring.
Somehow I don't think my answer is going to go over too well.
The second question asked the very original sentiment of "What is the meaning of life?" So I responded:
Eat. Shit. Screw. Die. Try to be happy and do good things along the way.
I asked this question: "What is the difference between raw sewage and cooked sewage?"
I got this question in return:
Are you an intellectual?
My answer:
wisdom is better than intelligence.
No, I didn't answer your question.
But a real intellectual would make you think.
Here you go:
If it takes a chicken and a half, a day and a half, to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take for a one legged grasshopper to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
I posted some questions looking to get some heated answers. All I got was the funny.
I asked:Why doesn't the small child next door stop crying? Is it because his mother is a crack head? Maybe, he just realizes he'll have to live the rest of his life as a black man and realizes that its not worth it.
The following answer has just been sent to you:
Maybe it's because he realizes that neighbors like you will always be racist bastards.
I asked:Why do black woman always have fake hair?
The following answer has just been sent to you:
They want straight hair.
Clicking the random answers can be quite fun also.
I got this one:
Q. What should I say if a co-worker has a really bad haircut? Should I lie and say it's nice, thereby encouraging the person to get it cut that way again? Or should I be honest and hurt an acquaintance's feelings over something that really isn't my business? It's impossible to say nothing as the person has seen my eyes linger on the haircut the way drivers might stare at an accident on the side of the road.
A. Tell them that it's a really nice haircut, but, you don't think that style or colour or whatever really suits their repulsive, pimple covered face.
I asked: In 5 and only five sentences, could you please tell me who you are well enough that I could pick you out of a crowd of 30 persons of similar height, weight, and age, presuming they are all your gender as well?
And he sure did answer:
HAI, I AM GEORGE ONIMUSHA, FOUNDER AND RULER OF SHOGUNATE-ERA JAPAN. I STUFFED YOUR MOTHER-SAN'S HONORABLY TIGHT RICE PATTY WITH MY STUPENDOUSLY STOUT MAN-KATANA WHILE SHE WROTE DELICATE HAIKU POETRY ABOUT SUSHI. MY FUJI-LIKE WAKISHAZI PIERCED HER FINE SILK KIMONO AND POUNDED UPON HER INNARDS LIKE THE HOOVES OF A WARHORSE. SHE CAME SO HARD HER SCREAMS PIERCED PAPER WALLS IN EDO. I VOW UPON MY HONOR.
Count the sentences. There's 5.
I was asked: So how about another question?
I responded: What makes it okay in your mind to breathe on a daily basis?
On Tuesday, February 28, 2006 you asked the following question;
Do you have a penis?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
It's really ironic that I just got this question. I was trying to think of a quesiton to ask, and this is the exact question that I did ask. The answer is yes.
"If a train leaves Austin at 10:37 am traveling at 57 mph and another train leaves Ontario at 9:50 am traveling at 48 kph, how much does an oxen weigh?
answer:
Depends on the type of train, if it is a Pacific Trails type, I'd say about 78 stones. However if it is the highly inferior Amtrak train, then I'd say roughtly 68."
It's fun for a while. Then I get tired of thinking up questions like "why is there a light in my fridge but not in my freezer?" Also, I get tired of being asked what "smack a$$" means. Like 3 times in 1 day. Geez, people should try urbandictionary.com instead of this site if they are so clueless.
On Thursday, March 02, 2006 you asked the following question;
Is hand washing necessary after taking a piss?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
A Yale man and a Harvard man walk into a bathroom and both take a piss. The Harvard man washes his hands afterwards; the Yale man doesn't. The Harvard man comments to the Yale man: "At Harvard, they taught me to wash my hands after I use the facilities." The Yale man replies: "At Yale, they taught me not to piss on my hands."
I just got this question which I thought was funny:
Hi, my name is Demetri Martin. I'm currently working from home to ask you silly questions over the internet. If you were attractive to an intern at the office, would you do to get their attention?
On Friday, March 03, 2006 you asked the following question;
What is a life lesson that worked for you?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
Never drink expired milk. Ever. Should you choose to do so, buy lots an lots of pepto bismol. I'm not kidding.
Ew. Why would I want to drink expired milk?
And why does it say I asked this question tomorrow?
Amazingly, I've encountered no questions along the lines of "who's your daddy" or "penis penis penis penis penis..."
Well, SOMEONE just did. . .
This is pretty fun.
Though I still haven't recieved my answer.
Here's what I got:
"Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a0006'
Overflow: 'cint'
/answered.asp, line 12"
Guess that poor guy will never find out what happens at the end of The Empire Strikes Back.
When the movies came out, my dad saw it before his brother. Then one day my uncle really pissed my dad off and so my dad told him, "Darth Vader is Luke's father!". and my uncle has never forgiven my dad.
It's really funny.
That was my question :).
The Empire Strikes Back was on tv on Friday, A New Hope was on last week, and I assume Return of the Jedi is on next week. I hadn't seen any until last week and I fell asleep watching The Empire Strikes Back. I am going to watch the one next week so I want to know what I missed.
Luke Skywalker died and Han Solo turned out to be his half-brother. Leia turned out to be part Wookie.
The first question I had the oppotunity, someone wanted to know a quick and reliable way to make money. I suggested working a fast food job, they always seem to be hiring.
Somehow I don't think my answer is going to go over too well.
The second question asked the very original sentiment of "What is the meaning of life?" So I responded:
Eat. Shit. Screw. Die. Try to be happy and do good things along the way.
bah! you guys suck. I poured my heart out and got told to Eat. Shit. Screw. and Die. because I'm a stupid American.
I asked, "What is a way to quit you?" and got:
"Take a nap and when you wake up you will fee much better."
I asked that age old addage- why do black guys never smile in their photos... and some guy replied 'because some ppl dont like their smiles'
Oh, how sweet, kind of...
Q:Does this outfit make me look fat?
A:Your fat makes you look fat, but you outfit does a good job of hiding it.
I asked this question: "What is the difference between raw sewage and cooked sewage?"
I got this question in return:
Are you an intellectual?
My answer:
wisdom is better than intelligence.
No, I didn't answer your question.
But a real intellectual would make you think.
Here you go:
If it takes a chicken and a half, a day and a half, to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take for a one legged grasshopper to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
Answer: 4.75 cups.
I asked:
Q: How did the matchbox car commercial guy (host? narrator?) learn to talk so fast?
I got:
A: who the hell is the matchbox car guy????????????????
Um, same here. . .
Who the hell is he?
He was the Matchbox car commercial guy who talked really fast.
Quite simple really.
He was on VH1 when they finished sucking the life out of "I Love the 80's" for the third time.
John Mecina I think his name is.
I posted some questions looking to get some heated answers. All I got was the funny.
I asked:Why doesn't the small child next door stop crying? Is it because his mother is a crack head? Maybe, he just realizes he'll have to live the rest of his life as a black man and realizes that its not worth it.
The following answer has just been sent to you:
Maybe it's because he realizes that neighbors like you will always be racist bastards.
I asked:Why do black woman always have fake hair?
The following answer has just been sent to you:
They want straight hair.
Which one of you is responsible for this?
On Sunday, February 26, 2006 you asked the following question;
If the jews are God's chosen people, then why doesn't He do more for them?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
because they have big noses and are tight asses with money!!
Clicking the random answers can be quite fun also.
I got this one:
Q. What should I say if a co-worker has a really bad haircut? Should I lie and say it's nice, thereby encouraging the person to get it cut that way again? Or should I be honest and hurt an acquaintance's feelings over something that really isn't my business? It's impossible to say nothing as the person has seen my eyes linger on the haircut the way drivers might stare at an accident on the side of the road.
A. Tell them that it's a really nice haircut, but, you don't think that style or colour or whatever really suits their repulsive, pimple covered face.
Hey, attitudechicka those guys learn to talk fast by reading tongue twisters really fast.
She sells sea shells. . . y'know.
dcomposed, concerning my previous statements about Star Wars, they were all lies. Except the wookie thing. The jury's still out on that.
i like the answers in this where people call me names.
On Tuesday, February 28, 2006 you asked the following question;
Would the ladies still love Harrison Ford if he was black?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
Oo youre asking a lady and i have to say no. are you fucking mad? no one loves blacks you idiot. Evolushion innit?
I couldn't resist, I came back for more.
I asked: In 5 and only five sentences, could you please tell me who you are well enough that I could pick you out of a crowd of 30 persons of similar height, weight, and age, presuming they are all your gender as well?
And he sure did answer:
HAI, I AM GEORGE ONIMUSHA, FOUNDER AND RULER OF SHOGUNATE-ERA JAPAN. I STUFFED YOUR MOTHER-SAN'S HONORABLY TIGHT RICE PATTY WITH MY STUPENDOUSLY STOUT MAN-KATANA WHILE SHE WROTE DELICATE HAIKU POETRY ABOUT SUSHI. MY FUJI-LIKE WAKISHAZI PIERCED HER FINE SILK KIMONO AND POUNDED UPON HER INNARDS LIKE THE HOOVES OF A WARHORSE. SHE CAME SO HARD HER SCREAMS PIERCED PAPER WALLS IN EDO. I VOW UPON MY HONOR.
Count the sentences. There's 5.
I was asked: So how about another question?
I responded: What makes it okay in your mind to breathe on a daily basis?
On Tuesday, February 28, 2006 you asked the following question;
I am a white man in a white country and I am becoming a minority. Should I move to another country?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
norwegian? (you're scum)
I think that Sketch Swap was better because I got my results instantly.
this is pretty instant.
This is pretty awesome.
On Tuesday, February 28, 2006 you asked the following question;
Do you have a penis?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
It's really ironic that I just got this question. I was trying to think of a quesiton to ask, and this is the exact question that I did ask. The answer is yes.
You got your own question back, didn't you?
I asked:
"If a train leaves Austin at 10:37 am traveling at 57 mph and another train leaves Ontario at 9:50 am traveling at 48 kph, how much does an oxen weigh?
answer:
Depends on the type of train, if it is a Pacific Trails type, I'd say about 78 stones. However if it is the highly inferior Amtrak train, then I'd say roughtly 68."
Nice.
It's fun for a while. Then I get tired of thinking up questions like "why is there a light in my fridge but not in my freezer?" Also, I get tired of being asked what "smack a$$" means. Like 3 times in 1 day. Geez, people should try urbandictionary.com instead of this site if they are so clueless.
On Thursday, March 02, 2006 you asked the following question;
Is hand washing necessary after taking a piss?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
A Yale man and a Harvard man walk into a bathroom and both take a piss. The Harvard man washes his hands afterwards; the Yale man doesn't. The Harvard man comments to the Yale man: "At Harvard, they taught me to wash my hands after I use the facilities." The Yale man replies: "At Yale, they taught me not to piss on my hands."
On Thursday, March 02, 2006 you asked the following question;
What would be the coolest thing about a world in which people have feet for hands (and feet for feet too)?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
It would be a lot easier to kick people in the face
On Thursday, March 02, 2006 you asked the following question;
Have you ever been raped?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
unfortunately, no :(
I don't understand the unfortunately part
The following has been censored and is awesome.
On Thursday, March 02, 2006 you asked the following question;
What would be the best thing about having a girlfriend with mouths for eyes and a large eye where her bellybutton would normally be?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
Uh... glasses are... uh... sex joke... dammit. I f***ing hate you so gawd damn much.
I just got this question which I thought was funny:
Hi, my name is Demetri Martin. I'm currently working from home to ask you silly questions over the internet. If you were attractive to an intern at the office, would you do to get their attention?
Demetri Martin is funny.
On Friday, March 03, 2006 you asked the following question;
What is a life lesson that worked for you?
The following answer has just been sent to you;
Never drink expired milk. Ever. Should you choose to do so, buy lots an lots of pepto bismol. I'm not kidding.
Ew. Why would I want to drink expired milk?
And why does it say I asked this question tomorrow?
Time zone difference between you and wherever the server is located.
I have asked the same question 3 times now & haven't had any replies. Sux0r.
What was the question?
Question Swap is almst the pinnacle of human achievement.