By the time you read this, I'll be servicing your sister. I'm sorry for doing this but, you left me no other choice. I know this might comes as a bit of a answered prayer to you - especially because things have been going so well. But I'm sorry – I just need a change. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a Scientologist, and I'm crippled by inhibitions. You like watching TV, you eat noisily, and enjoy flea markets, and I don't like one of these things. Your favorite movie is Anything Steven Segal, and your favorite band is Whitesnake. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Greenish blue-brown". Anyway, I want to date someone with the same sticky groinal parts as me. But you know what? I still want to be friends. We can totally talk once a year . We had some good times, or so I think . But please, don't worry like last time. That means no clawing your face. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $1,000 you owe me, or the fact that you cheated on me. So take care of yourself - and good luck.
Dear Johanna,
By the time you read this, I'll be servicing your sister. I'm sorry for doing this but, you left me no other choice. I know this might comes as a bit of a answered prayer to you - especially because things have been going so well. But I'm sorry – I just need a change. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a Scientologist, and I'm crippled by inhibitions. You like watching TV, you eat noisily, and enjoy flea markets, and I don't like one of these things. Your favorite movie is Anything Steven Segal, and your favorite band is Whitesnake. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Greenish blue-brown". Anyway, I want to date someone with the same sticky groinal parts as me. But you know what? I still want to be friends. We can totally talk once a year . We had some good times, or so I think . But please, don't worry like last time. That means no clawing your face. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $1,000 you owe me, or the fact that you cheated on me. So take care of yourself - and good luck.
Sincerely,
Insert Name Hdfere
P.S. I faked every orgasm.
I love the "you auctioned our love child" part.